Responses to Adoption Plan

So, before I even started to show (month 4!) - responses seemed to fall into one of these four categories (listed in order of how common they occur): A) you should abort B) you should raise the baby yourself C) you are a hero - like a surrogate! (I am quick to correct people - NOT A HERO! - I am just someone who got knocked up on accident and doesn't believe in abortion) D) ADOPTION IS THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR YOU! A) seemed to come from every angle - even people who knew me and knew my heart. How disturbing it is to me that the inconvenience of pregnancy seems to be a large enough reason for otherwise compassionate and intelligent people to turn into murderers. B) has two different factions. There is the "you will learn to love the baby" party - that claims I am wrong about my inability to give any more than I already have. They are the delusional folks from my first pregnancy who believed everything would just be wonderful once I decided not to abort the baby. The second party's tagline is more like "your problem = your responsibility" - this group believes if God permitted me to get knocked up - then He must have planned for me to raise the baby. I can see the logic - and I firmly believe God blesses any of our choices if our intentions are aligned with love. However, I knew completely that this baby was mine only to grow - that I was the vessel... for another family's desires. (more about this mindset in additional posts) C) these misinformed folks think that there is some sort of maternal love that I am sacrificing for another - or that I possess superhuman selflessness. Instead - the plan to adopt is pretty much 100% selfish - on my part. I am trapped in a 10 month journey where my body is held hostage by a life form that my choices created. Adoption ensures that the hostage negotiation ends at delivery - and permits me to return to my real life without additional responsibilities. It is hard for people to grasp if they are the types of folks who get mushy around babies. I am not that type of person - and I never have been. I view this entire process as a long term babysitting gig; I will do everything in my power to keep this child healthy and safe - so that the real family can take the baby home at the end of the extended stay. D) These are mainly the folks who know me. They have seen me struggle, they watched my heartache as I barely survived being a solo parent. They have seen my sacrifices to provide stability for my son, and have seen how we have gone without... These are the folks who look with both logic and compassion - who know that there are many families longing for babies - and who trust that God's plan might not be as straightforward and clear as we often hope - but who know that life is precious and full of possibility - and that God will work all things for His glory - if we just walk the path He has given us.