Single Mom Struggles

Look - if you are a single parent - you get it. There is nothing I can say here that you don't already feel or struggle with. And, if you are NOT a single parent - you cannot fully understand. People joke, during hunting season for example, that they are 'basically a single parent' - but they aren't. They have that other income or adult or driver or disciplinarian or WHATEVER their significant other is. Even those on deployment or in jail are still contributing to your life - mentally supportive, emotionally avai;able, or financially - in some way. Some folks get government assistance, or survivor benefits, or alimony, or child support. But for those of us who are in it ALONE (with capital letters) - it is mind numbingly exhausting. Self-doubt crashes over you; you have no sounding board to turn to when there are big decisions to make, worry and concern plague your every waking moment, and you battle everything - every day - with no real sense of an end in sight. BUT - it does get better...you keep putting one foot in front of the other - and then something changes. You leave diapers, formula, baby food, and car seats in the past. You find a reliable sitter - or someone to donate hand-me-downs to keep your fast growing kid clothed. You find a decent school and eliminate the cost of daycare. Someone gifts a box of toys their children outgrew - right before Christmas. And, eventually, your kiddo starts tackling chores and helping with daily tasks (oh man - my son started EARLY) - and your job situation evens out - and even though you can't remember the last decade and change beyond the blur of "SURVIVING" - you are suddenly shopping for back to school clothes for a middle schooler and seeing your child take responsibility for their mistakes, beliefs, decisions... And - somehow - it feels like you have moved past just "SURVIVING"... And - it is NOT yet "THRIVING" .... but it is .... "ARRIVING" You start to make job decisions that provide work-life balance (a term that was as elusive as a unicorn up until now). You start reconnecting with friends - or even making new ones. You splurge a little on things you couldn't have DREAMED of affording before - like - ice cream after a sporting event, a puppy, a vacation... Your child develops interests and hobbies and passions - makes friends and plans with them. Your conversations together wander into scientific aspects of the creation of the earth, morality of various life choices, and theories into surviving a zombie apocolypse. And you feel like you can breath... that you aren't treading water anymore... that the waves might be lapping at your chin - and storm clouds may still be brewing overhead... but you can feel the earth beneath your feet - like you are almost standing...not quite in the shallows - but - arriving at the shore.