A GREAT visit! Part III

(To protect the family’s privacy - I will use A for the mother, B for the father, and * for their son. ) The next morning got off to a slow start - with a leisurely breakfast at the hotel and a self-guided tour of the Capitol. I dropped the rental car and the family picked me up - and we went to Lady Bird Johnson’s Flower park for the dinosaur exhibit. This was an absolutely beautiful location, with so many strange plants (native to Texas) and several water features. Water is *’s favorite - so - that was a big hit. He was much more comfortable around me today - even initiating some conversation and calling me by name. Instead of the “Juh” sound at the start of my name, he said it with a “G” sound - making it “G-net” which sounded hilarious in his tiny voice. I was able to decipher a lot more of his speech on the second day - but his parents still had to translate sometimes. They have an adorable expression “Cheese on the phone!” Which they use whenever they are asking him to take a picture. We made progress in that department too - because I had asked permission to take his pic the previous afternoon and he glared at me in an obvious refusal. But here in the sunshine and wildflowers he was happy to climb on random benches and pose for pictures. I took a pic of the whole family together - “Cheese on the phone at a bench!” Later he climbed on a butterfly chair - that had a separate one next to it - and I asked if I could sit on the next one over while we both had “cheese on the phone” - and he happily agreed. so his parents snapped a pic - we checked that box - evidence of the visit! - without it being overly formal or forced. (I’d say it worked out perfectly.) We had planned to catch lunch together - but as soon as we started driving - * knocked out. I promised I was okay with just heading to the airport early - so they dropped me off. * woke up as I was getting out of the car - and I said goodbye to each of them. We didn’t touch at all - but I’m not big on hugs or sticky kid fingers - so it wasn’t a disappointment. (I never forced my boys to hug people they didn’t weren’t comfortable with - so I didn’t make any attempt with their son.) Waiting on my plane I went ahead and forwarded pictures I had taken of them - and they sent me our pic as well. It was lovely to have seen all of them together and while I am not opposed to another visit in a few years - maybe when they have another kid and I can see * in his role as big brother - but we don’t have anything planned now. Anyhow - I just wanted to candidly share the visit and all the emotions that went with it - and encourage you to normalize adoption. It doesn’t matter what your birth mother story looks like - how involved or uninvolved you are in your birth child’s life. The important part is to respect life and to support the family with love and encouragement. My hope is that I exist in the periphery of his consciousness as a family friend who has occasionally been around as he grows up - and that if he does have questions later in life he can know how to reach me and that his parents know I am in their corner - whatever lies ahead. I don’t want there to be any shame or hurt associated with my role in placing him with his forever family. While some confusion may be unavoidable - I want intentions to be transparent and to be a united front with his real family. Thanks for letting me share. I realized that I neglected this blog over the past few years - and there is so much more to the story that I can tell that may help folks considering adoption. But basically - I want folks to know that this has always been the right decision for me - and I have always been at peace with this choice.